It has been ten years. This will be the end of things. What have I learned? Have I actually gotten better at doing this? My guitar playing? Sure. My piano playing? Maybe. My singing? Eh.
It might be easier to list what I haven’t learned. My actual album production is generally woeful. The track volumes are all off. I never figured out how to master a track. Whenever I’ve played with EQ settings, the song has always gotten somehow muddier and more underwater. Synthesizer tracks always are too loud and live tracks to soft. I never set up a microphone or learned to tell them apart. I couldn’t begin to guess what my vocal range is, if I can call it a “range.” I still have a serious issue with playing the piano with both hands, partially because of lack of practice and partially because of a weird panic attack that starts to happen as soon as I start playing with both hands that makes me worry that I’m going to fuck it up, as if I’m juggling jagged glass objects or something. Drums remain a total mystery and, probably, rhythm in general isn’t something that I could be considered a dependable custodian of.
In short, I’m a melodist. I have ideas in runs of notes. Often consecutive. Usually meandering. Fairly followable and traditional. I don’t think I’m too shabby at counterpoint either. Maybe I’m just good at playing devil’s advocate with music. I like narrative. I write cinematic songs that tell me little stories. They may be meaningless in general, but I can usually imagine something when I listen to them.
This final album, the music speaks for itself, is a series of soundscapes. Some of these places are on earth. Some of them aren’t some are far away. Some are big ideas that are easily dismissed. Some are living things that you don’t notice and scurry by you in cracks and shadows.
Rejected titles for songs on this album:
– if you see one, there are five of them in your walls
– seriously don’t touch me, no im not kidding, please stop
– ive never actually listened to that last song all the way through
– chipper moonwalk happy yoga meditation
– shut your eyes and pretend like you are sleeping and dreaming something peaceful one more time
– indoctrinated by science
– buy floss, you keep forgetting and im going to title this song buy floss so you remember to do it tomorrow on the way home from the office
– jeff feels like a wound-up monkey
– someone get me to a hospital i felt something in my bowels rupture and ive never felt pain like this
– autumnal leaf burning yoga meditation
All ridiculousness aside, this final album is probably closest in sound, feel, and quality to the very first album. A few things caused this. I didn’t want to write lyrics and I wasn’t sure how to write songs without lyrics, I realized. At first, I didn’t want any instruments on the album. I was going to build new instruments for new sounds. Since I don’t have a workshop or significant tools or raw materials, well, that didn’t happen. Then I ran into issues learning my new version of my recording software making this album as sloppy as when I was just beginning.
There are two instruments on this album that I’ve never used before.
Even through all of the troubles, this album might include the perfect recording of why I’ve always enjoyed doing this.
What is the point of creating an album of music every February for ten years without any intention of doing anything with it? I’m sorry you have to ask.
These never happen without the help of friends. Not only because of their contributions to the songs, but their support and interest. Thanks to Kevin Scott for his music space and actual musical talent. And thanks to Emily Rose for your spare instruments and actual musical talent.
Download all the tracks here.